March 2019 Newsletter

News for all from around the Club…

Our thoughts are with Gail Young and Garry Moore and their respective families as they recover. Reports are that Garry’s procedure has gone well and that he will be continuing his recovery at home by the time this Newsletter is published.

Presentation Night – 6th April!

Our very own Brownlow Night!

All the major trophies will be presented including the prestigious Doug Osborne Trophy for the Club’s best Saturday Pennant bowler as voted by their peers for the first time.

With Thommo and Harold leading the festivities, expect to be entertained as well.

Be sure to block out Saturday night 6th April in your calendar.

The evening will be catered with plenty of tasty finger food and there is no charge for entry.

If you haven’t been harassed by Harold yet to assist in sponsoring one of the trophies and you are interested in tipping in say $50, contact Harold to let him know!

Friday Night Barefoot Bowls

The season is running out with just a few more Friday Night Barefoot Bowls left until the end of March. Invite your friends and family down for a fun evening with DJ and his merry helpers.

Footy Tipping is back for the 2019 season

Footy Season kicks off on Thursday 21st March and our online Tipping Comp is waiting for you to enter. Prize features a weekly Pick 9 prize which jackpots every time it’s unclaimed – opportunity to earn good $s even if your cumulative score slips back.

Here’s the URL for the Tipping Comp, and the password to enter is Higgins

Cradles for Club Bowls

A big thank you to John Pezos for building the new cradles for our club bowls. Thanks mate!

BBC Shenanigans Returns

David Crook sent me a logic puzzle some time back, suggesting it should be solved in about 10-15 minutes – BOVINE FAECES Crooky!

After just contemplating it for a while, I let it be. That night however, was very restless as the puzzle kept going through my wee brain. The next day I applied my mind to it and at our Tuesday Pennant game, I confidently declared to David that there was insufficient information to solve the riddle. David just smiled and said there’s enough info, but with a wink, gave me this single additional hint “Write the combos down – there’s less than 40 of them”.

So, here’s Crooky’s Riddle, Bentleigh-fied a little…

I hear some youngsters playing in the garden,” said Meehan, a graduate student in mathematics. “Are they all yours?”

“Heavens, no,” exclaimed Professor Saunders, the eminent number theorist. “My children are playing with friends from three other families in the neighbourhood, although our family happens to be the largest. The Waglands have a smaller number of children; the Pocknees have a still smaller number, and the Jacobsens the smallest of all.”

“How many children are there altogether?” asked Meehan.

“Let me put it this way,” said Saunders. “There are fewer than 18 children, and the product of the numbers in the four families happens to be my house number which you saw when you arrived.”

Meehan took a notebook and pencil from his pocket and started scribbling. A moment later he looked up and said, “I need more information. Is there more than one child in the Jacobsen family?”

As soon as Saunders replied, Meehan smiled and correctly stated the number of children in each family.

Knowing the house number and whether the Jacobsens had more than one child, Meehan found the problem trivial. It is a remarkable fact, however, that the number of children in each family can be determined solely based on the information given above!

How many children are in each family, and what is the number of Saunders’s house?


I’ll buy a drink (no, not a bottle Harold) for the first person to provide me (Brades) with the correct answer and the logic used to arrive at the answer! Send your answers to

More Shenanigans from Pete Blee – Rated MA…

Some of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and radio 

  1. Ted Walsh – Horse Racing Commentator ?

‘This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.’

  1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator ?

‘And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!’

  1. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 ?

‘Ah, isn’t that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..’

  1. US PGA Commentator ?

‘One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ……… Oh my god !! What have I just 

  1. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked,

‘So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?’ 

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

  1. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:

‘Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.’

  1. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

‘There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ‘

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 

‘Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis’s misses every chance he gets.’

  1. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1’s UK eclipse coverage remarked:

‘They seem cold out there, they’re rubbing each other and he’s only come in his shorts.’

  1. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

‘Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself“

And finally… Cookie launches his Centre Rd tow truck service…

Rosa tested out Cookie’s tow truck after the Midweek Section Grand Final last Thursday. Rosa was slowly making her way home after celebrating a great come from behind win. Cookie found her in Centre Rd clutching onto a box of pizza, greasy slice in hand. Seeing Rosa needed some assistance to stay a straight line, the pizza was deposited in the carry basket, and Rosa invited to hold on for a guided finish back home. Well done Cookie for looking after a mate, and glad to hear you made it home safe and sound Rosa!

Info for Bowlers…

Midweek Pennant Section Premiers!!

Congratulations to our Midweek Side 1 winning their Section flag last Thursday in a nail-biter. Lesson learned – NEVER give up!

Midweek Side 2 came a valiant 2nd in their section, but still a promotion to the next Divvy next season.

Saturday Bentleigh 3 (our Seconds) also played their Section Grand Final at Clayton on Sunday and came second to Hampton. Congrat’s team on your promotion to Divvy 2 for next season.

The Electric Light sides have a few more games left to play and it looks pretty certain that the Div 1 and Div 2 sides will be playing finals – here’s hoping there’s more flags to be won for season 2018/19.

Lightning Pairs Comp

This comp runs from the completion of Section Finals through to the start of Winter Bowls after Anzac Day. For the newies to the Club, it’s a pretty social comp where entrants are randomly paired for 3 games of 3 bowl pairs. Prize money is awarded for each day’s results and scores are accumulated for overall comp prize money.

Steve Brady normally runs this comp but he will be out of town for at least 3 of those Saturdays. If you’re looking forward to Lightning Pairs going head, please see Steve to offer your services to run the comp.

Sandbelt Mens Fours Championships – Lessons Learned

Bentleigh hosted the Sandbelt Mens Fours Championships over 2 Sundays in February. It turned out to be a privilege to watch some of our regions better bowlers battle it out. There were many quality bowls put down during the Championships and the competition close.

One thing that stood out to me was the first class teamwork and team spirit. At no stage over the 2 days did I see any skips criticise their team mates for poor bowls (and there were a couple of them) and the mood was kept positive all the time. This nearly made all the difference in the grand final with a young composite team lining up against a strong side from Clayton. Clayton went to a very handy lead of 16 shots to 2 at the 10th end. The composite team never gave up, and in fact united in their purpose to narrow the gap. The result was a draw at 17 points each after 16 ends! Clayton went on to win the play-off end – but ANYTHING is possible when you keep spirits up and work as a united team!